So, just an update: I am doing a horrible job at this whole 'only fight for love' deal. Still working on it.
It seems the world currently has an exceptionally skewed perception of what happiness is. You ask someone to define happiness and one person will say "feeling good", and another will say "being content", another "the opposite of depressed". Not to mention the ambiguity that is found in each of these statements.
To me, happiness is more than just contentedness or pleasure and is not a result of circumstances but rather an ability to go beyond or overcome them, if necessary. Happiness is rooted in God - and I say rooted because God is stability, God is my rock. No matter what is happening in the world - great or catastrophic - happiness is the ability to pick yourself up (or take yourself down a notch), dust off, and be all right; the ability to live life - with a smile (if necessary), laughing when something's funny, not bringing other people down. And that ability comes only when a person is rooted in something that stays, when someone has a foundation. Logically, the most trustworthy thing to be rooted in is God, because He is the only thing that is indubitably (Say that aloud. It's fun.), perpetually stable.
One last comment: Being elated and on-top-of-the-world all the time is not my kind of happiness. Happiness requires, I think, an ability to recognize suffering and overall the ability to overcome it, and therefore the ability to recognize grace.
Thanks to Sal for helping me work out these ideas, and being the mastermind behind many of them. Credit to her.
Christmas shouldn't be so stressful. I think it's an important and invaluable skill to be able to forget about the stress and focus on the miracle. Not that this hasn't been said before.
My mom's iPod was stolen on Christmas Eve out of her car in the church parking lot. Ouch.
I've heard often before that imperfections are what make people who they are, that imperfections are the reasons we love them sometimes. I do not love people because of their imperfections. People have imperfections and I love them. How absurd to say I would love someone because of their imperfections, flaws. They are flaws! That's a bad thing! And to be able to recognize the severity (that is, the level of severity) of these flaws is to recognize the absolute greatness of grace.
First of all, I think there are two kinds of flaws. (I split them up only for the sake of this blog and clarity, I suppose - in reality it's very hard to label all flaws and depends on situations and specificity rather than generalities. I hope not to eat my words. I often do.) There is flaws(1): Those that are generally trivial and really just nuisances. And flaws(2): Those that keep us away from God - these are sins. Maybe more on this another time. I leave it up to your imagination for now.
Many seem to want to believe that people are defined by their flaws, that flaws give us our identities, that flaws are what make up who we are. I disagree. Pehaps, maybe, flaws(1). But I think that it is not so much our flaws that make up who we are but rather how we deal with them - negatively or positively. The kleptomaniac that doesn't steal certainly doesn't deserve to go to jail, and rather should be commended. Also, isn't it entirely unfair to neglect strengths? Certainly strengths make up a great deal more of who we are than do flaws.
I really, as a person, don't want to be defined by my flaws, and don't understand why anyone would. It seems almost as if it was meant as some sort of sick comfort to the first person who came up with the idea that we are defined by flaws - "Don't worry, nobody is perfect. You're not perfect either; that's why I love you. (Maybe, a little bit, it makes me feel better about myself.)" I might not be making any sense, or maybe I'm just being mean and cynical. I believe wholeheartedly, though, that two people can have all the same flaws, or have no flaws at all, and still be entirely individual.
I used to think that if something was meant to be, there was nothing we could do to keep it from happening. Forestall - certainly, but, inevitably, as it was meant to be, it would be. I do not believe that anymore. I'm not entirely sure what made me believe it in the first place. One part wishful thinking, one part trust in authority, one part naivete probably. There is no 'meant to be'. Things that end up well do so by chance or because God played a very big role. I am noticing (and adoring) lately God's awesome ability to make something good out of something humans have screwed up - He has turned a horrible mistake into something incredible and augmented, can make terrible falters into absolute beauty, fatal and seemingly trivial miss-steps into invaluable experience and the utmost evil into something wonderful, or into the most heartfelt contrition. Things aren't meant-to-be. Humans screw up perfect opportunities and situations all the time. The miracle is that God can fix it, or that God can give you another perfect opportunity, or that God can make your biggest mistake into something that saves your life - and ten (or ten million) others' as well.
A little familial promotion: Check out Country Mouse, my brother's and cousin's and sister's boyfriend's band. I like them a lot and experienced recently the fact that they're way better live than on their myspace right now. Whoo!
In other words, you'll be happy to know that I've watched my two favorite movies (The Bourne Ultimatum and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) each at least five times now. I got them for Christmas, along with a new camera. But that's an old picture (above).
Anyway, merry Christmas and happy New Year!
Currently reading: The Bourne Ultimatum, Robert Ludlum
Currently listening to: Country Mouse, The Classic Crime, Dear and the Headlights
