I'm gonna articulate something in this post that feels to me to be universal to Christians, but realistically there's only one other person I know who might go through the same process. Tell me if I'm wrong please.
Every non-surface Christian (I realize I haven't yet explained what I mean by this, but hopefully I'll get the chance to soon -- if it helps, I've heard C.S. Lewis call surface Christians semi-Christians), I suppose, has an individual way of striving for the perfection God asks of us. The way I've done it in the past and the way I'm trying not to do it now is a prideful one. It says, "God, You have a lot to do anyway. I'll go ahead and try on my own. I don't feel comfortable asking for Your help when You've given me so much already." We must let go of the attitude in which we do it ourselves or we don't do it at all. It breaks everyone's heart. We (and by we I mean the people who do this, me included) spend so much time running the race with our shoes tied together, weights on our back, saying, "Watch me, God! I can do it myself, I'll finish, You don't have to help me." And then we fall flat on our faces, tasting dirt, anguish, despairing in our failure, and it is God who picks us up again, it is Him that embraces us in His loving arms and gets us back on our feet and tells us it's okay that we can't do it on our own, that we weren't made that way. And we thank Him, we are so grateful. He nurses us back to health and as He does confidence in ourselves rekindles and plants its seed. "I feel so much better," we tell ourselves. "I'll never make that mistake that tripped me up again. " And then, once again, we take off and leave God behind. What a childish, naive pride. Such a desire to please God and such an inability to do it, such an inability to realize we can't do it without Him. And then, inevitably, our humanity hits us square in the face. We can't do it. It is impossible. We are fallen and sinful and it is only the grace of God that allows us to do any pure good. And yet, we still do not accept God's help. There is no falling out, because how can there be in the face of this truth? We are tragically stubborn. We say, "Well, God, I'll do the best I can. I'm sorry it's so horrible."
Profoundly relevant songs:
When I Go Down, Relient K
Find Me Tonight, Everyday Sunday
I don't have much of substance left, but I can leave you with some food for thought. Those of you who know me most likely have heard me talk of C.S. Lewis (and actually I've talked of him here), and that is because I think he is absolutely amazing. This is an excerpt from a letter by C.S.L. found in a book called A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken:
My feeling about people in whose conversion I have been allowed to play a part is always mixed with awe and even fear: such as a boy might feel on first being allowed to fire a rifle. The disproportion between his puny finger on the trigger and the thunder & lightning wh. follow is alarming. And the seriousness with which the other party takes my words always raises the doubt whether I have taken them seriously enough myself. By writing the things I write, you see, one especially qualifies for being hereafter 'condemned out of one's own mouth'. Think of me as a fellow-patient in the same hospital who, having been admitted a little earlier, cd. give some advice.
Earlier, Vanauken speaks of Lewis (who was a close friend and mentor to him), saying:
...and I therefore saw and heard, both at table and at the semicircle by the fire in the common room as the port went round, the Lewis who, in brilliance, in wit, and in incisiveness, could hold his own with any man that ever lived.
C.S. Lewis played (and, myself as proof, plays) such a great (and personal) role in so many people's lives, but his very influence would have been rendered entirely useless and even very detrimental if he hadn't been able to (and, realistically, God hadn't given him the ability to) discover humility and realize his actually nonexistent role compared to that of God.
Current music:
Globes and Maps, Something Corporate
When I Go Down, Relient K
Find Me Tonight, Everyday Sunday
Take Me Out, Everyday Sunday
Apathy for Apologies, Everyday Sunday
Currently reading:
A Severe Mercy, Sheldon Vanauken
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
My feeling about people in whose conversion I have been allowed to play a part is always mixed with awe and even fear: such as a boy might feel on first being allowed to fire a rifle. The disproportion between his puny finger on the trigger and the thunder & lightning wh. follow is alarming. And the seriousness with which the other party takes my words always raises the doubt whether I have taken them seriously enough myself.
Thank you for this great quote and food for thought. It makes me think of the way God involves mankind in the most serious things, which would make one with the humility and insight of Lewis tremble. Think about how God invites and allows:
a husband and wife to be co-creators of another human being; commits "to men the ministry of reconciliation"; petitioned the Blessed Virgin Mary to be the Mother of Jesus - i.e. to be His partner in bringing the Redeemer into the world; allows us to be joined to His Divine Nature through our union with Christ that we may be lifted up in the Godhead to reign with Him forever.
C.S. Lewis has an awe of even speaking the truth; God would have us join ourselves, our souls and bodies to the Truth Incarnate.
The most effective, on fire people for God are the ones who get out of the way and let Him do His perfect work through him. I'd suggest Keith Green as a prime example of someone who was consumed by God. Sell out to God all the way!
Post a Comment